Glee, Inside the heads of Finchel
by shirayuki55
Summary: This describes the thoughts inside of both Rachel and Finn's heads during the progress of the episodes. Might also contains some changes.


AN

Hey guys! It's funny really, I read so many different genres of fanfiction and yet all I've been able to write so far are Ichiruki stories. Well that ends now. Finchel is probably my second strongest love and I'm going to attempt writing some. Remember, first try at Glee so don't kill me if it sucks but please give me feedback. So anyway, I'm planning on exploring the thoughts of both Rachel and Finn as the episodes happen and they get closer. Later on, I might possibly change some things I really didn't like, but the main theme is Finchel mixed in with some eventual Hummelberry and other Berry related friendships. I'm planning to go through at least two episodes a chapter, and hopefully get through all the seasons. Although, I haven't thought about what I'm going to do about season five's hot mess. Ok, so I'm going to stop talking now and let you get to reading.

Disclaimer-I own nothing.

Part one-Sophmore Year

1. Pilot

Rachel Berry hadn't come into Sophmore year expecting much. As far as the rest of the school was concerned she was a nobody; bearly a blip on their sonar. But she hated being annonymous. So she had signed up for any club that would take her, even if the club made very little sense.

Since she had no friends, she had lots of time to perfect her grades and immediately rose to the top of her class as an A-honor role student. But that meant nothing to her. All it made her was a nerd. She was supposed to be a star.

About halfway through her Freshman year, Sandy Ryerson had started the previously unnamed Glee club. She'd joined immediately, thinking it was finally her chance to show the world and her fellow peers what she really could do. But she soon found herself and her talents being ignored in favor of other less talented male students who joined. It was then that she began her collection of Myspace videos. If she couldn't shine at school, at least she could show the world what she could do.

But she was constantly attacked with vicious and untrue comments about her looks and her voice, and if she wasn't a stronger person, she might have succumbed to the cyberbullying long ago. She'd went on to start her second year of High school with very little hope that things would get better. And she was right, until the day that she'd snapped and been the catalyst for a major change.

She got Sandy no-good-at-spotting-real-talent Ryerson fired! Little did she know what she had just started.

Mr. Scheuster restarted the Glee Club as the New Directions and began holding auditions. Rachel became hopeful again, especially when he couldn't stop showering her with compliments on her voice. But then the kid in the wheelchair got the first solo and she was once again sidelined.

Rachel had reached her limit. She was tired of trying to mold the club to fit her, which didn't seem to be working. So she gave Mr. Schue an ultimatum. Find a male lead, or she was quitting. And he came through in a very big way.

She'd seen Finn Hudson around school before of course, but never up close. He was always surrounded by the same mean jocks who mercilessly soaked her in slushies just about every day. He even indirectly threw eggs at her! But once she'd heard his voice she was mesmerized. Sure, he still needed lots of work on his sharp untrained vocals, but she could tell he had very big potential.

Maybe she shouldn't have been so forward in her instant pursuit of him, but he was hot and she was yearning for some affection. Sure that diminished after he'd hastily quit, but seeing him come back full force and take charge like that, it was inspiring. And unfortunately for her, her crush only grew. Too bad he was dating that blonde monster Quinn, who was one of her biggest harassers.

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It was no secret that Finn Hudson was a little slow. But he had a big, caring heart and was lovable. Nevertheless, he was completely unprepared for the drama that began to unfold around him as he started his second year of high school. At first things were pretty good.

He began dating knockout head-cheerleader Quinn Fabray, he was the quarterback of his football team and he was popular. Pretty good start to a year, right? Wrong!

Before he knew it, he was manipulated into joining the New Directions Glee Club and meeting the most special girl ever. His first impression of her was far from flattering, but when she opened her mouth to sing he was immediately entranced. She was like a witch casting a spell. She just seemed to glow with otherworldly beauty as she sang her heart out. As she finished, he wondered why he'd never seen this girl around until now.

Sure she wasn't in Quinn Fabray's league of perfection, but she had her own special brand of beauty that was hard to ignore. As the days passed he learned why. She was an outsider, a loner, most likely not by choice but she was always walking the halls alone with her head held high accepting the ridicule of her peers.

He didn't know for sure, but he suspected that his fellow teammates might be part of the bullying that surrounded Rachel. Though he was with Quinn, something about Rachel touched him. He might not be able to date her, but he could be her friend. They were the leads after all. And something about her just drew him to her.

When he was in her presence, he forgot all about Quinn. And so he started a ritual. If he saw her during the day before Glee club he made it a point to greet her; his reward a beaming smile that would appear on her face as she returned the greeting. If he was in the vicinity when one of his teammates were about to slushie Rachel, he would try and distract them long enough for her to escape. He didn't know why, but he felt protective of his newly aquired tiny brunette friend, and he vowed to do his best in looking out for her, even if it was only in small ways.

2. Showmance

Lately, Rachel had been feeling pretty good. The New Directions had completed their first real song with her as one of the leads and she'd met a great guy, even if he wasn't hers officially. But it still filled her with new vigor and a drive to improve. Now instead of going home, posting Myspace videos, doing her homework and going to bed, she could think about Finn in the privacy of her bedroom and imagine what it would be like to have him for a boyfriend.

He was friendly, funny and chilvalrous. He didn't deserve to be going out with someone like the mean-spirited Quinn Fabray. If only he would see that.

But things weren't all bad. She'd noticed how nice Finn was to her; helping her with her bag, distracting bullies, daily greetings. Thanks to him, she had more than one incentive to come to school every day.

But then Mr. Schue had to come up with one of his worst ideas ever. That they perform Le Freak in front of the whole school. First of all, the song was old and played out. Nobody in the school would like it. Second of all, performing it would mean no solo for her. And she couldn't stand for that.

Somehow, she had to find a way to change Mr. Schue's mind. For once, Rachel and her peers were in total agreement about something. As Mr. Schue stressed the importance of the assembly, Rachel caught Finn's look of utter mortification and instantly felt bad for him. Now she was determined more than ever to change things.

She wasn't amused as she watched the rest of her peers put on a rowsing performance of Gold Digger. Sure, she might have danced along, but her mind was on other things. She was too preoccupied to have any real fun. In fact, she was freaking out.

Besides the impending assembly, her non-relationship with Finn was starting to stress her out. She'd just bearly gotten to know him, and yet she wanted him so bad. It wasn't fare! At times like this, she hated her appearance more than ever, and even resorted to trying unsuccessfully to induce vomiting. But what she told Ms. Pillsubry was true. Her good mood was now nonexistent. All she wanted to do was lock herself in her room, turn on sad music and cry.

But her hopes weren't completely dashed. Ms. Pillsubry's advice prompted Rachel to join the celibacy club. There, she could watch over Finn and observe his relationship with the blonde she-devil. Being paired with Jacob Ben Israel was just a necessary evil to help her achieve her goal. But then she got fed up.

Quinn and her cheerleader friends were just full of cockpoopie! Wasn't it always them she saw in the hallways rubbing up on the jocks and flirting mercilessly. They were the biggest sluts the school had to offer. And yet they were sitting there with straight faces, preaching about abstinance? It was too much!

So she spoke her mind. Quinn may not have liked it, but Rachel saw it as her first preemptive strike against her unsuspecting rival, and besides, it got her the positive attention of every boy in the room, including Finn.

The next day, Finn approached her and showered her with praise about the things she'd said during the celibacy club meeting. Rachel was of course ecstatic, but she used the oppurtunity to rope her crush into participating in her "save the assembly" plan. She idly noticed that she babbled alot more frequently around Finn. The plan turned out to be a big failure; they got in trouble and Finn seemed more depressed then ever. But Rachel refused to give up.

She came up with a foolproof idea that her peers, after some urging, seemed to take to. They got up on stage and performed Push It in front of everyone. Childishly, Rachel saw it as a second strike to her rival. She just wanted to shout, "Hey, Quinn, how do you like me having air-sex with your boyfriend on stage!"

She might as well have said it out loud, because all through the performance she caught Quinn sending her death stares. But Rachel could care less. She felt empowered, bold and for once in her life sexy and appealing. Through the performance, she gained the courage to once again invite Finn for a private practice in the auditorium. And he accepted.

Their little rendezvous was going off without a hitch so far. She knew he had great potential in the singing department. Then they began to talk, and Rachel immediately fell under the spell that was his words. She liked how he was honest with her, even if she didn't like some of the things he said. But he was sweet, so very sweet, kind and adorabley clueless at times.

When he reached out and touched her lip, she felt unbelievable warmth shoot all throughout her body. And then she couldn't stop herself from uttering the words, "You know, you can kiss me if you want to." But she was even more unbelieving of his answwer, "I want to."

And then he leaned over and she was in bliss. Their lips met and the sweetest sensation made her body pulse and tingle. Before her mind froze, she had one last malicious thought, "Strike 3 Quinn Fabray, and your out!" and then all she could think about was Finn. But then he pulled away with the saddest look in his eyes and hastily left her alone. Alone with her deepest sorrow and yearning for more. Was it all just a cruel joke?

What did it all mean? 'Please don't tell anyone about this.' What was that about? Who would she tell anyoway? Was he ashamed of kissing her? The horrible questions swirled within her mind, numbing her with pain. Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't she just be happy for once?

It seemed as if her bad streak couldn't get worse, but it did. Thanks to her rash idea, the New Directions could only sing songs about balloons or God. But it wasn't all her fault like everyone was making it out to be. Sure she planted the idea in the others heads, but their the ones who went along with it. And really, this whole thing began with Mr. Schue. If he hadn't been so stubborn about performing his horrible song which nobody, repeat nobody, wanted to do, none of this would have happened. And yet she was the one being punished the most. Was there no mercy?

Apparently not. The she-devil and her two evil cohorts had infiltrated her inner sanctum. This was her place, her only place away from the pressures of the rest of the school, her sanctuary, the place where she felt most safe and cherished, the only place where she had Finn to herself. But now that was all over. The only thing she had left to hold on to was the assured fact that Quinn could never hold a candle to her voice.

But even that was soon cruely yanked away from her by Mr. Schue giving a solo to HER! Maybe she'd try to understand a little bit more if it was Mercedes or even Tina, but HER! He couldn't be freaking serious. But it didn't matter. Now she had nothing to hang onto, no lifeline whatsoever. She'd fought a good fight, but it looked as if Quinn had won. Deep in her heart Rachel knew this wasn't over, not by a long shot. But for now, she would let it go. She needed some time to herself to cry and reflect on the past few days before she could, as usual, put on her brave front and face the world. She just needed some time.

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Finn was not amused; not amused at all. Mr. Schue was trying to ruin his life! It was bad enough that he was getting daily crap from his so called "friends" about being in Glee. But this would definitely push him over the edge.

He was so worried about it that he spent the next few days just going through the motions. He didn't notice much of anything, and started unententionally avoiding Rachel more than he cared to admit. But Rachel, he soon learned, was a very persistent girl. Outwardly, she appeared not to be put off by his lack of enthusiasm and continued to ramble happily when she was around him.

He found himself going along with her flyer idea without much thought, and decided to just follow in her wake. She was like a mini tornado of energy. Though he didn't have much faith in the flyers, he didn't expect to get in trouble because of them. Mr. Schue seemed pretty angry and promptly shut Rachel down and crushed any hope he might have secretly harbored.

But as he was sinking deeper into his funk, Finn caught the look in Rachel's eye. It was a firm look of determination and he couldn't help but depend on it. Finn snapped out of his trance long enough to hear the impassioned speech that Rachel gave at the celibacy club. This made him think about the two girls in his life, and what a contradiction they were.

Quinn preached about celibacy, looking like an innocent blonde angel, when really he knew she was quite forward in her actions, and was only a member of the celibacy club to uphold the image her parents had of her. Yet despite the fact that she was rather loose, she acted like having sex was a crime. Rachel on the other hand, was the image of a fully wholesome girl. With her skirts and animal printed sweaters, she too looked the epitome of innocence. And yet there she was, saying that girls wanted sex just as much as guys, and saying that sex was fine if you used contraceeption. That immensely intrigued him about her.

But he was even more surprised by her very risky assembly idea. Before he knew it, Finn was on stage having air-sex with a girl he secretly thought was awesome, and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. The knowledge that Quinn was surely in the audience taking it all in never entered his mind as he enjoyed himself thoroughly.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, and the next time he really became aware, his lips were pressed firmly against Rachel's. Wait a second, what! First they were practicing, then drinking some juice. He started insult-complimenting her, she smiled at him, his heartbeat sped up in his chest. He was reaching over to wipe some juice off her lip and then... now they were here.

Okay, so maybe once or twice when he was alone, he thought about kissing the daylights out of her like he was right now, just to see what it would be like of course. Nothing serious. It was all good. It wasn't all good! Finn grudgingly admitted to himself that he never felt this way when kissing Quinn. Sure, she was hot as hell and that excited him, but he never felt a real connection to her like he was feeling right now with Rachel. And that scared him.

Suddenly, the realization that he was now officially a cheater registered in his slow-moving brain, and the thought sickened him. Though it pained him greatly, he wrenched away from Rachel, blabbered inconsequential nonsense and then ran for the hills. He felt like a cad. He'd unwillingly led Rachel on; Rachel, a great girl who deserved someone who was devoted to her and only her, while cheating on Quinn. And what was worse, he didn't know which girl he'd rather be with.

Finn couldn't be sure why, but for some reason a feeling of dread filled him at the news that his girlfriend and her cronies were joining Glee. Maybe it was because he now knew that they were some of Rachel's main tormentors; after all, the girl did have the right to feel safe somewhere and they were taking that away from her. Or maybe it was because he wished more guys would join; it was bad enough that he already had two very complicated girls on his mind, he didn't need to be surrounded by even more of them. But deep down inside, he knew the real reason was because he valued his time with Rachel.

She was becoming a dear friend, but despite that, they didn't find much time to hang out together outside of Glee. Now Quinn would be there, hanging on to him like she owned him and putting Rachel down, and he felt bad for both himself and Rachel. Especially after what had transpired between them earlier. Now more than ever he wanted to make it up to her somehow, but he couldn't with Quinn in the way.

He felt even worse for her when her solo was taken away. He didn't even know Quinn could sing before now, and while he admitted that her voice was pretty enough, it wasn't anywhere near Rachel's level of breathtaking perfection. It wasn't fair to her. Quinn had her cheerleading where she could shine brightly as the star. Rachel deserved to have her singing. Finn felt his heart clench painfully as he watched his secret crush slink dejectedly out of the room, her tiny shoulders slumped in defeat and sorrow. He wished so badly that he could help her, but for now, he would just have to empathize from afar.

Reviews, if you please!


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